Spring Break- first week in April

The first week in April was a blur... It was Spring break and we were looking forward to a mini trip to SLC at the end of the week!  Just when things in our life finally seemed to be falling into place after a 3 year struggle for us with uncertainty and hard times for Glen concerning his job and the tremendous stresses there, he was just getting settled into his new job and we were starting to look back at the years and the situation and see some good. Like, Our time living in Hyde park which we loved, we made some wonderful lifelong friends.  We grew and learned many life lessons, we were able to see that the timing of adding Simon to our family was meant to be and such a blessing when at first we weren't sure how we were going to be able to do it! - it had all worked out and we were finally able to start thinking about our future and security and dreaming and planning for things to come instead of waiting for life to get better and wondering day to day how to make ends meet! We were feeling so good about life... and then our world came crashing down with the terrible news that Glen was being let go from his new job! Seriously!?? It was very hard to say the least... so that week of spring break- was a blur and we were both just kind of numb!  I can't really remember what we did those first few days but I do know it included tears and lots of talking, hoping for some kind of peace of mind!  We decided to continue with our plans to spend a few days in Salt Lake... we both just needed time to wrap our heads around the situation and we needed to get away from life and pretend none of it was true for a few days!  We headed to Salt Lake on Thursday and we went straight to the airport to welcome my cousin Tate home from his LDS mission to Suriname.

missionary mom's get the first hug

his family gathered around

It was sweet to see all these boys admiring Elder Tullis! I think they were all thinking about being missionaries themselves!  I am grateful for Tate's example, I know that his example of serving a mission makes an impact on all these boys.  They look up to him and see his decisons and choices!  Being there with all my boys, I couldn't help but think about all the emotions that are ahead for me as a mom who hopes (how will I bear to say goodbye??)  to send out five missionaries!

Elder Tullis with his family

We stayed overnight in Salt Lake and went to temple square, the flowers were beautiful!  We also went  to the new City Creek Mall- it was fun, but REALLY crowded!

Temple Square

City Creek

Evan watching a movie with Simon

We had a fun time away but it was hard to push the thoughts and worries away of "why?" and "what now?"  Those first few days and weeks I would wake up most mornings feeling... tired from being up all night with Simon, of course, but usually I woke feeling happy and normal and then I would remember "oh ya, we don't have a job" and then my heart would drop...  Still the days are hard and it has sunk in and it is always there reminding!!  The last time we were going through the job search (pretty much all last year) and dealing with lots of stress I felt stronger and more faithful... This time I am having to dig deeper... I am frustrated and tired.  I was talking (whining, complaining, crying) to my sister Sara a few days ago and she helped me feel better. (both of my sisters ALWAYS know just the things I need to hear- I know their words are not coincidence!) Sara reminded me that life is not about just being here and making the best life that we can for ourselves and having it easy- but that the whole purpose to this life is a test and everyone will have trials.  Our test is how we will handle the trials- will we remain faithful and not waiver in what we know to be true?!  My friend Cheryl gave me a mini book for my birthday- "Created for greater things" by Jeffery R. Holland.  I have almost worn it out- I find myself sitting a lot lately, nursing my sweet baby and sitting leads to thinking and it's nice to have this little book to grab and read little thoughts from- its gives me lots to think about!-I love it and I have read all the thoughts a bunch of times- what Sara said reminded me of one of the thoughts I keep coming across in my book and my stubbornness in thinking "poor me"  was finally softened.

"On this upward and sometimes hazardous journey, each of us meets our share of daily challenges.  If we are not careful, as we peer through the narrow lens of self-interest, we may feel that life is bringing us more than our fair share of trials-that somehow others seem to be getting off more lightly.  But the tests of life are tailored for our own best interests, and all will face the burdens best suited to their own mortal experience.  In the end we will realize that God is merciful as well as just and that all the rules are fair. We can be reassured that our challenges will be the ones we needed, and conquering them will bring blessings we could have received in no other way."

I know there will be ups and downs during this time but I am going to try better to focus on the ups and remember those last few sentences of this quote that remind me to see the blessings and to make life happy in the meantime!  Another favorite quote- "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come."

I need to do better and remember to be patient and let go of what I can't control and just ...trust!

Well... this post was supposed to be about spring break and ended up being kind of deep and an outlet for some of my feelings! I was supposed to keep things short and easy and get caught up... sorry for rambling- I am getting close, but gotta stick to the plan!  Coming up is the rest of April and maybe I will actually write about May before May is over!- wish me luck