Little League and other stuff...

Last week before one of Evan's baseball games we were all eating dinner together. I got up from the table to warm something in the microwave and as I mindlessly stood there waiting for the warming to take place I glanced at my family gathered around the table, dishes were clanking, small talk was filling the air... my eyes rested on Evan, the back of his head anyway. And I had this weird moment almost like an out of body experience... but I wasn't dead... TIRED I'm sure... things seemed to be in slow motion and it was like time lapsed 5 years.... Evan seemed so much older! There he sat in his baseball uniform... so handsome (yes, even from the back he is handsome) in his navy colored "red socks" team shirt, his tanned neck, his hair lightening from sun exposure... I swear he was like sixteen. I couldn't believe it! For a minute I wondered if that was really Evan sitting there in our kitchen. No one else seemed to notice....I glanced around and blinked and then it ended. Sure enough it was Evan... not 16 but well on his way. The evening went on as scheduled and later that night I thought about my out of body... ok.... really tired, foggy moment and it sort of freaked me out because Evan is growing up and there is nothing I can do about it. He will soon be to that age where I don't have as big of an influence as his friends will. Where he doesn't want to climb around on the play land at McDonalds anymore, and all too soon music, girls and being "cool" will start to interest him more. Do you ever have these moments where you just sort of freak out about the whole "mom" thing?... you know, I'm not sure I've done enough to prepare him for the real world? I hope I'm teaching him the right things so that he will succeed in life? Does he have enough self esteem to make it? IF NOT... it's all my fault! etc... etc... etc....But instead of feeling the normal freak out, heart sinking "oh, crap" feelings I thought to myself- I have been doing the best that I know how. Well, minus the past six months of roller coaster hormones... we have all suffered from them. But I am coming back and things are getting better and once again I feel like really LOVING my boys, not that I didn't before it's just that with the whole pregnancy, newborn hardness.... things were neglected :) and although being a mom is tough and hard and feels impossible some days. I have to do the best I can... for THEM... So I'm re- grouping and pulling myself together and so far... I am doing ok...we made it through the first week of Summer and I just have to keep reminding myself that EVERY thing I say and do is shaping these boys into who they will become... THAT is a big deal!

Here are some pictures of Evan... not sixteen of course, but growing up regardless. I love. love. love little boys in a sports uniform... cutest thing ever!

This is Evan's first year playing little league... it's official baseball, no more "soft rules!" He is the #1 nine year old pitcher on his team. Because I'm his mom, I was worried when I learned this and INJURIES are all I can think about... sports arrrrrgh, but how can you keep them from doing what they love and what they are good at? So he pitches and he's good at it and it is so fun to watch him dig his cleat into the mound, take his pitchers stance in full concentration in that cute little uniform, hat low on his head, batting gloves hanging out of his back pocket
...melts my heart every time!

So like I mentioned, we officially survived the first week of summer!!!

... and it rained the entire week!! The boys had swimming lessons every morning and loved being in a heated outdoor pool as it rained! We had a wii tournament, Evan won! A read-a-thon while laying on blankets and pillows eating popcorn and treats. One day we all worked out to some fitness videos with the boys using cans of beans as their dumbells! We picked up lunch one afternoon and had a picnic in the car. The boys played with play dough, set up a giant train track in the basement (with Glen's help) and built an army base...
the house is a wreck, but it kept them busy!
One week down... 12 to go!!? oh, man I hope we survive the rest!!

If they go as fast as the past 5 weeks have... it'll be a breeze!
I can't believe Oliver is 5 weeks old, almost six... but I don't want to say it because I feel like having a six week old baby sounds so... no big deal!! Like at six weeks out life is suppose to be back to normal, back in your skinny jeans, etc... well, I feel far from "normal" and the word skinny won't be used in reference to ME... for a long time, if ever... so don't ask me how old my baby is... I may lie about his age so that I don't look so bad :)
He sure makes it all worth it though!

Here's to the rest of Summer... cross your fingers for me!